Living With Emotional Vampires

We all have them, those who surround us sucking the life right out of everything that brings us joy. Sometimes the intentions are good, nevertheless the end result is the same. We feel beaten up, chewed up and spat out. We take a deep sigh and then start anew.

As a writer, I face much the same as my fellow authors living with self-doubt about their work. OK, maybe King, Martin, Roth, and the rest aren’t the least bit shaken, but I think we all live with “Is it good enough?” at some moment in out lives. A writer perseveres and much like a dog, shake those fleas off their backs. What do you do when it seems impossible to keep the naysayers at bay, and keep putting one foot in front of the other? I find I say ‘Uh huh’ a lot. What happens when the significant other doesn’t get it, and complains about the hours you are putting into a useless effort? I hope you are lucky enough not to have one of those suck, suck, let me take your confidence away companions. If you do, how do you handle it? What about the mom who insists you can do better with your life, and that you are wasting your time?

The best friend oooh, now that can get tricky. You need to meet a deadline, self-imposed or otherwise, and they are dangling the carrot with a come hither look. Can you actually do that with a carrot btw? Why is it when you write, that very few of the people who ‘love you best’ don’t get it? They should  be cheering you on, and slapping a high-five when the book is finally off to edits, and asking how they can help promote the precious thing that you brought to life. For those of you who have a 100% support group, kudos, however most of us go it alone. Writing is a lonely venture, we are in that canoe all by ourselves with one paddle surrounded by alligators. One slip and bam!

I have learned early on to listen for the a verbal hint of non support, the sigh and the shake of the head, and then I smile and say, “Hey I just finished another book.” Elvis has just left the room.

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5 thoughts on “Living With Emotional Vampires

  1. Often it’s those closest to us who are the least supportive. It hurts. I try to tell myself they are incapable of understanding. It’s their weakness, not mine. Occasionally that even works.

    • aronjoice says:

      I never thought of it like you described, as a weakness. I think you are spot on! I always want my friends and family to achieve their dreams, even if I secretly might not agree with them. “To be the wind beneath their wings” as that beautiful song so eloquently put it. It would be nice if we could all soar to our imagined heights. Thank you Yvonne for adding a new declension.

  2. Aron, thanks for sharing. I had a Mom who was always supportive, and she would have been proud of what I have accomplished. I didn’t start writing until after she passed away.
    We all have a method of coping with those not so supportive, I just keep writing and publishing. It is easier and more enjoyable than arguing. You don’t really win an argument, but you can prove you were right.
    Keep writing and rewarding yourself…life is too short not to enjoy what you are doing.

    • aronjoice says:

      My mom was also very supportive, I wish she was here to share in my writing joys.I agree that arguing is fruitless;I won’t even go there. I threw out this piece just in case there my be someone out there who doesn’t realize how important a positive word can be. Thank you for your input, as always it is appreciated.

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